By Philip Yatai and Jemila Yusuf

Some women in Kaduna metropolis on Monday blamed the disturbing incidence of domestic violence on poor child upbringing, particularly the male child.

The parents said in separate interviews in Kaduna that domestic violence would be greatly reduced if male children were properly trained to respect women.

According to them, men constitute the major perpetrators of domestic violence against women in the form of rape, molestation, beating and other forms of corporal punishment on children.

Mrs Risqat Yusuf, a mother of five, said that children that witnessed violence in their homes were more likely to become involved in a violent and abusive relationship when they become adult.

“A child who grew up in a home where there is complete absence of dialogue in solving problems, but violence, will naturally pick such violent trait.

“Such a child will solve problems violently when he grows up. As such, parents must ensure that their homes are not only violent-free, but that their children learn to solve problem through dialogue.

“Parents must also teach their male child to respect women, meaning that fathers must always treat their wives with respect in front of their children, particularly the male child,”Yusuf added.

Mrs Sarah Simeon also said that there was no excuse whatsoever for violent behaviour in marriages, either from the wife or the husband.

According to her, parents must learn to be tolerant and accommodative no matter how a partner acts and no matter how provoking such act could be.

“Whatever your partner does, just learn to be tolerant and resolve it through dialogue for the sake of the children to prevent them from picking violent attitude from home.

“If a male child grew up seeing his father beating his mother whenever they have a disagreement, there is high chances that such a child will grow up to become a violent man.”

Also, Mrs Rabi Salman equally said that domestic violence happens in marriages largely because of men’s ego, adding that some men beat their wives just to show they are in charge.

“Men will always want to dominate and will resort to violence when a wife challenges their dominance.

“But as parents, we can cure men from such destructive ego by training our male child to recognise women as partners in progress and not as a lesser partner for a man to dominate and abuse,” Salman said.

Similarly, Mr Farouq Ismail, said that domestic violence in marriages was on the increase because children were raised in violent environment.

Ismail said, “a child sees nothing wrong with violence if he or she grew up in a violent environment where the relationship of parents or care givers is characterised by violence.”

On his part, Mr Ishaq Gambo, said that apart from paying due attention to child upbringing, parents should resort to anger management while solving their differences.

Gambo advised couples to learn to walk away to cool off during harsh argument and resolve the disagreement later under friendly atmosphere to prevent situation from escalating to violent behaviour.

Malam Bello Mahmoud also said that women must learn to be submissive and avoid any act that would push their husband to his boiling point which could lead to violent reaction.